© Springer International Publishing Switzerland 2016
Debra A. Harley and Pamela B. Teaster (eds.)Handbook of LGBT Elders10.1007/978-3-319-03623-6_1515. Bisexuality: An Invisible Community Among LGBT Elders
Abstract
This chapter discusses issues relevant to bisexual elders, including invisibility, homophobia and biphobia, lack of understanding, and a scarcity of research and resources. Bisexual elders face the same issues as all elders, such as the need for financial planning, health care, assisted living, estate planning, and more, not to mention isolation, feelings of loss, depression, and ageism. Bisexual elders also face the additional issues that lesbian and gay elders must navigate such as invisibility, coming out, and marginalization and discrimination due to homophobia. In addition, bisexual elders also face issues that are either amplified—such as a lack of supportive social networks—or uniquely theirs—such as biphobia and a lack of bi-specific research, support, and services. As a consequence, it is critical for people who offer services to elders to avoid judgment and assumptions.
Keywords
BisexualAgingHealth disparitiesLGBTQueer theoryOverview
While bisexuality is common, it is often misunderstood, dismissed, and ignored by both mainstream culture and the lesbian and gay communities, adding a new layer of challenges for seniors. Bisexual elders face the same issues as all elders, such as the need for financial planning, health care, assisted living, estate planning, and more, plus isolation, feelings of loss, depression, and ageism. Bisexual elders must also navigate the additional issues that many lesbian and gay elders face such as coming out, marginalization, and discrimination due to homophobia. Adding to these challenges is that bisexuals typically enjoy few if any bisexual-specific social networks, support, and services. Service providers may be well-intentioned, but scant research, lack of cultural competency training, and few relevant resources often result in increased isolation and marginalization for the seniors in their care. The result is measured in health disparities and stress for bisexual elders.
Learning Objectives
By the end of this chapter, the reader should be able to:
Describe how bisexuals elders’ experience differs from straight and gay and lesbian elders,
Communicate how health disparities affect bisexuals,
Articulate the different service needs of bisexual elders, and
Offer possible solutions to the problem of isolation and a lack of community support.
Introduction
I found it not really upsetting, but more unsettling. Whoa, what just happened? Or, more accurately, when? I had to laugh, if just a little. It felt like the day my AARP invite arrived in the mail or the first time a clerk offered me a senior discount.
I’ve given many talks about bisexuality, the bisexual experience, and the bi community at various venues including colleges, bookstores, community centers, and conferences. It’s a patter I’ve got down so pat that one time, working without notes, I somehow flipped back to an earlier part of the talk and repeated ten minutes, I’m told, quite verbatim. Not a failing memory—I’m only fifty-five as I write this—more stuck in a rut and time for a fresh speech.
Therefore, when I was invited to participate in a panel discussion about bi history, I did not think much about it. The generally hidden, often forgotten, and always interesting cultural history of my community is something I am quite comfortable talking about and lending a little context to.
It is a small world and an even smaller one when you are on stage with other LGBT speakers, and I knew everyone on the panel quite well. We sat on the riser, in simple hard chairs, in front of a room arranged classroom style. People filed in. When the room was full and the panel moderator began to introduce us, I had an overwhelming feeling of being one part in a “what do these things have in common” test.
We were old. Or, no, not really—we were old compared to the youthful audience.
Then I knew: I was to be the bisexual elder.
I WAS the history. They wanted to hear from me firsthand about my experiences in the ancient days of the seventies, eighties, and nineties.
Since that presentation I have come to expect to play that role, and when presenting on bisexuality, I make sure to talk about the good old days. I have even come to enjoy it.
For me, aging is an interesting social experiment: I have found people treat me with increasing respect as I grow older. I am also seemingly less threatening to young men and increasingly invisible to women. I assume this trend will only increase, with watersheds like the first time someone offers me their seat on the bus and the first time someone talks loudly to me.
Those moments I will not enjoy.
The point is:
I, as well as many of my peers, are getting older.
LGBT activism is a mature movement, with the first waves of people coming out in the 1970s now gray, retiring, and needing services, services that may at times differ from the general population, services that may need to be delivered in ways that are new.
The Bi piece of the LBGT puzzle is no different, with the first groups of 1970s bisexuals going gray, a group who well remember a time before “LGBT” or even “GLBT,” a group having no intention of accepting any less than cultural competence among service providers.
Therefore, it is critical that service providers become educated on the issues affecting not only lesbians and gays, but also bisexuals (Kimmel et al. 2006).
Challenges to a Complete Definition
How bisexuals and bisexuality fits into a discussion of aging depends on how we choose to define bisexuality. One would think defining bisexuality to be easy and the purview of the Oxford English Dictionary. In fact, defining bisexuality is fraught with challenges, mired in culture, and in flux in our changing times.
In Bisexuality, Not Homosexuality: Counseling Issues and Treatment Approaches Horowitz and Newcomb (1999, p. 148) state: “Bisexuality is difficult to define. Must one engage in sexual activity with both sexes to assume a bisexual identity? What if a person has sexual or affectional desires for both sexes but does not act on them? What if a person is involved in a monogamous, long-term same-sex relationship but has had previous satisfactory heterosexual relationships?”
Researchers have often looked at behavior as the test, and many people see the gender of one’s sexual partners as proof of one’s sexual orientation. If we define “bisexual behavior” as having been sexual with women and men or with more than one gender, then we are talking about the needs of a huge part of society. For example, Alfred Kinsey’s studies done in the 1940s and 1950s found that 37 % of men had had at least one sexual experience with another man at one time in their lives (Kinsey et al. 1948). This number is usually considered an overestimate, having been taken from a convenience sample in not typical circumstances such as in prisons and with male prostitutes. Accordingly, published in 1994, the National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS) found very different results. It utilized face-to-face interviews of 3432 people to find that approximately 9 % of men and 4 % of women had ever had any same-gender sex partners (Michael et al. 1994).
These data are about behavior and not identity. Just because a person identifies as straight does not mean that they have not had or do not still have sex with people of the same gender. Conversely, many gay men have had or do have sex with women, and many lesbians have had or do have sex with men. For example, in a 2000 survey conducted by the Advocate about 75 % of lesbian respondents reported having had sex in the past with at least once with a man, and 6 % said they have had sex with a man in the last year (Remez 2000). Meanwhile, the Annual Review of Sex Research in 1997 reported that 62–79 % of gay identified men report a history of “heterosexual contact” (Doll et al. 1997).
We must think of sexual orientation as something different—and more culturally significant—than behavior. Being straight, lesbian, gay, or bisexual is about feelings and attractions, not confined to actions alone. Indeed, we see self-identified bisexuals with all varieties of partner choices. Vernallis (1999, p. 349) reports in the Journal of Social Philosophy, “Some people identify as bisexuals although they have only experienced sex with one gender, perhaps because they have sexual desires for and fantasies about both genders.” Bisexuals may or may not have had lovers of different genders. They may or may not be monogamous. They may or may not ever have had sex in their entire lives. Take, for example, a catholic priest who has been celibate his entire life, yet this person has a sexual orientation, and he may identify as straight, or bi, or gay.
That bisexuality is not defined by behavior is a very important point for bisexuals because many people believe bisexuals need both a man and a woman as a sexual partner. For example, if a self-identified bisexual woman is in a monogamous relationship with, say, another woman, she is now assumed to be lesbian.
Therefore, it is ironic that focusing on behavior means that the number of people identified as bisexual is inflated (counting people who have been sexual with more than one gender regardless of how they feel or identify) while erasing them as well (no longer considering a person’s attractions and self-identity, defining them by their partners).
It should be noted that psychological research has provided us with many measures for orientation, from the Kinsey Scale (Kinsey et al. 1948) to the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (Klein 1993) to M. D. Storms in Sexual Orientation and Self-Perception (1978), and all have some descriptive value as well as challenges, none of which we will discuss here. Instead, the focus for our purposes will be on self-perception and self-identification, and less on diagnosis. If we are to look at the common challenges and solutions that bisexuals face in aging, measuring, or questioning people’s identity labels is less useful than acknowledging and embracing an older person’s choice of orientation label and community and looking at the cultural commonalities that these monikers connote.
Bisexuality Defined
For the purposes, of this chapter, we will look to the San Francisco Human Right Commission (2011) LBGT Advisory Committee (date unknown) for a good working definition: “…bisexual is the term that is most widely understood as describing those whose attractions fall outside an either/or paradigm.” In other words, bisexuals are people who are neither straight nor gay or lesbian.
Also, we will use the most quoted definition for “bisexual” within the community itself, from Robyn Ochs (taken from http://robynochs.com/bisexual/) long time bi activist from Boston: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted—romantically and/or sexually—to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”
How Many People Identify as Bisexual?
For the sake of this discussion of bisexuals and aging, we will limit ourselves to people who identify as bisexual, a more definable group with many issues in common. According to several studies, people who identify as bisexual are the largest single part of the LGBT community in the USA, with more women identifying as bisexual than lesbian, and fewer men identifying as bisexual than gay (San Francisco Human Right Commission, date unknown). For example,
2002 National Survey of Family Growth reported that among men, 2.3 % identified as gay and 1.8 % as bisexual, while among adult females, 1.3 % identified as lesbian and 2.8 % as bisexual (Mosher et al. 2005).
In The Journal of Sexual Medicine (Herbenick et al. 2010) reports that among adult males 4.2 % identified as gay and 2.6 % as bisexual, while among adult females, 0.9 % identified as lesbian and 3.6 % as bisexual.
In 2007, a survey found that among LGBT identified individuals, 68.4 % of men identified as gay and 31.6 % as bisexual, while 34.7 % of women identified as lesbian and 65.3 % as bisexual (Egan et al. 2008).
Although we will be using self-identity to discuss bisexuality, it is safe to assume that many people who otherwise would do not identify as bisexual because of social barriers. It is difficult to estimate the proportion of the population that remains “in the closet,” as it is no easy decision to call oneself bisexual. Plus, “being closeted” goes both ways: while many bisexuals identify publically—and presumably to people doing surveys—as straight, many bisexuals may publically identify as gay or lesbian (Keppel 2006) for a host of reasons that will be discussed below. Further reducing the number of people potentially identifying as bisexual is that many elders may not even have the word “bisexual” in their tool kit (Keppel 2006).
Common Questions Asked About Bisexual Persons
With scant public acknowledgment and awareness of bisexuals in the USA, it is little wonder that many people have questions and misconceptions about bisexuality. The following are common questions that bisexuals are asked.
Are bisexuals mentally ill? Bisexuality is not classified as a mental illness. However, it is worth mentioning that bisexuals, like many out-groups, face stress from discrimination and isolation and may show increases in health—including mental health—disparities (Healthy People 2020 2010).
Is being bisexual a choice? This question assumes that people who identify as bisexual should “pick a side” or are actually closeted lesbians and gays. As previously discussed, recognizing bisexuality as not defined by behavior. Acknowledging bisexuality as an orientation helps us see being bisexual as not a choice, just as being gay or straight is not a choice (Hayes 2001).
Are all bisexuals non-monogamous? Bisexuals may or may not be monogamous (Kimmel et al. 2006). Many bisexuals are in long-term monogamous relationships, many are single and not sexual with anyone, many travel in the polyamorous community (which we will discuss below), and many are fans of the swinger community. In other words, bisexuals are just like straights, gays, and lesbians, and knowing that someone is bisexual tells us nothing about the person’s relationship status or whether or not the person is monogamous.
Are bisexual men all married guys cheating on their wives? As with the last question, there certainly are a number of bisexual men who cheat on their wives. But again, many bisexual men live quiet lives with their same-gender or different gender partners and would not think of cheating. Some bisexual men are non-monogamous by agreement with their partners, something far different from “cheating.”
Is bisexuality just a phase on the way to being lesbian or gay? Senior service providers, given the age and experience of their clients, will likely work with many LGBT people who are very firm in self-identity. That said, this stereotype knows no age. Though many gays and lesbians at one time considered the possibility that they may be bisexual, this experience cannot be generalized to all people who identify as bisexual. In fact, one-third of bisexuals previously identified as gay or lesbian before identifying as bisexual (Fox 2004).
The Intersection of Bisexuality and Transgenderism
Bisexuality and transgender identities both resist simplification, both cannot be reducible to some simple formula.—Bedecarre in the journal Hypatia (2001)
My transsexuality and my bisexuality are inextricably linked. Since the transsexuality has been there since the earliest times I can remember, that was the beginning of the journey. Realizing I was bisexual came much, much later.—A guest on the Bi Cities! Show (Burleson 2005)
In most places around the country, there is a strong connection between the transgender and the bisexual communities. Indeed, the two communities have been strong allies.
Why is this? One reason certainly is because they both have a natural affinity born of living in the gray areas. Both are neither one thing nor the other; both confound the people who view the world in simple either/or dualist manner. Both communities get it, and they both are more likely to get it about each other than people who do not have a personal relationship to this ambiguity.
Another reason the two communities work well together is that there are a lot of people who are both bisexual and transgender. For example, a female to male transgender (FTM) who previously only considered men for partners might well re-evaluate that stand now that he is living as a man. For many, the challenges and changes involved in coming to terms with being transgender inevitably leads to re-evaluating much of one’s life, including sexuality.
Plus, many bisexuals express that they are attracted to people as individuals and not according to their genitalia; therefore, some bi’s may embrace gender ambiguity in a way that leaves more room for friendships and relationships with transgender people.
One obvious and important reason is the two communities have been allies by virtue of their exclusion from the lesbian and gay communities, and for very similar reasons. The transgender community is a thorn in the side of many lesbian and gay people who wish to claim, “We are just like straight people.” Many gay and lesbian people, and bi people, too, carry around their share of trans-phobia. Simply because someone is not straight does not mean they automatically get a masters in human sexuality or that all their prejudices magically disappear. As bisexuals fight to be included in gay and lesbian events and in the names of organizations, it is natural for the bisexual community to support the transgender community in their parallel and simultaneous struggles for recognition and inclusion. Perhaps it is an alliance of convenience, but I prefer to think of it as an alliance of understanding.
Bisexuality and Health
It is critical that bisexual health issues be addressed in the USA and addressed at their root causes. According to Bisexual Invisibility: Impacts and Recommendations from the San Francisco Human Right Commission, LGBT Advisory Committee (date unknown),
One area where we see the effects of biphobia and bi-invisibility is in the health and well-being of bisexuals, [men who have sex with men and women] and [women who have sex with men and women]. This is because, as confirmed by the available research, these groups experience greater health disparities compared to the broader population, and they continue to experience biphobia and bi-invisibility from healthcare providers, including providers who may be gay or lesbian, or are knowledgeable about homosexuality and accepting of their gay and lesbian clients.Related posts:
African-American and Black LGBT Elders
LGBT Elders in Nursing Homes, Long-Term Care Facilities, and Residential Communities
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